Something that most couples do not consider when starting their lives together is the importance of a good beginning. The way in which you start a relationship can be the difference between comfort and added stress later on in the marriage. Just in the simple act of asking a father's permission before proposing can build a solid foundation of trust between in laws and between husband and wife. Many people don't realize the import of many steps in relationships. Such as who is present at the birth of a child, by sharing the experience only with those directly involved one can capitalize on an opportunity to bond and build relationships with children and spouse. Marital satisfaction tends to go down consecutively as each child is born.
Something most parents don't know is that a woman produces a considerable amount of oxytocin after she gives birth. Oxytocin is a bonding chemical, if a woman's mother, mother in law or sister is in the room when she gives off this chemical, then this time of intense bonding will be shared with the wrong person, a husband can use this to his benefit and counter act the separation that can occur if he is excluded. 
be aware of your actions, be aware of the possible consequences of excluding significant others from important moments and milestones in life.

The most profound thing that I learned this week was the Relationship Attachment Model (RAM) this model describes relationships as being split into five different aspects. these parts include: how much you know someone, trust, how much you rely on them, your commitment to them, and touch. This model suggests something that is very different than the way that most people build relationships.

The Relationship Attachment Model suggests that you should never  trust someone more than you know them, and you should never rely on someone more than you trust them, you should never be committed to someone more than you rely on them and you should never touch someone more than your commitment to them. If this is the model for a successful and fulfilling relationship, no wonder divorce rates are increasing. Relationships are being built off balance. the level of touch has far exceeded that of commitment. Cohabitation is a relationship built on the lack of commitment and trust, they are practice marriages for the purpose of getting to know one another without having to rely on the other's honesty. This is a huge reason why marriages preceded by cohabitation are three times more likely to end in divorce and dissatisfaction. The nation would be wise to consider this model when building relationships.

This last week i learned a lot about the importance of gender roles in families. each gender has its own strengths and weaknesses. after learning about societies new confusion concerning these roles, the biggest lesson I have learned comes from elder John Groberg, " You can never get enough of what you don't need, because what you don't need can not satisfy you." The statistics show overwhelmingly that same gender couples tend not to build lasting relationships, choosing instead many short meaningless sexual encounters.

It saddens me to think that so many people have been so confused about who they are and what they want. name calling and stereotyping can have a great impact on children and yield deep damage. studies have shown that young boys who tend to lean towards creative behavior become separated from their more masculine peers and start to internalize the names they are given, especially if they are sexualized at a young age. this cycle is sad and tends to end in a desperate search for intimacy in places that will never bring satisfaction.

Symbolic Interaction

This week I learned a lesson about symbols. In our society we communicate with various symbols, we have language as a common symbol in each country. we use hand gestures as symbols to communicate both positive and negative messages. we generally view these symbols to be useful and helpful, but what happens when we don't share the same symbols? Symbols can only communicate so far as they are commonly understood between individuals. Greater levels of communication are possible when individuals share many of symbols such as word choice, and and other cultural factors. On the opposite end of the spectrum symbols can create hindrances in communication if there is not a common understanding of what certain symbols mean. so example some words are perfectly acceptable for us in this country and very inappropriate in others.

With all of this talk about symbols, one might ask "What does this have to do with the family?" the answer is communication. There is no greater forum for communication than within the bounds of a family. and there is no greater building block of society than a family unit. Successful communication of symbols within families and among families Means successful communication within a society. successful communication can mean the difference between function and dysfunction in a society, between understanding and chaos.

Family Trends

To start off I would like to paint a picture in your minds of the status quo of families. over the past few decades the definition of FAMILY has been lost. With each generation, the norms of family life have been stretched, vital parts cut out, and the importance misplaced. family is the most fundamental unit of society, yet we as a society don't seem to know what it is anymore. Some ask if a family is defined only as blood relations, others if it is a collection of people who love and care for each other. what ever definition you hold, I stand resolute that a family is sacred,necessary and of the utmost importance to our growth and learning.
Recent studies overwhelmingly declare the fact that families are changing.
Cohabitation is increasing, even though all research done on the matter suggests these relationships are three times more likely to end.

The birthrate had gone down in almost every region of the world, posing potential economic and demographic problems throughout the globe.

Premarital sex has been on the rise for decades, resulting in increasing danger of  STDs and STIs.

Mothers are increasingly pursuing their careers above the raising of their own children, leaving them in the hands of care takers to raise and teach them.
These are just some of the trends facing the family as of late. These issues can not be ignored, they can not be brushed aside. The family is so very central to the goals, values and success of a society. we can not keep losing our grip on the importance and definition of family.

Hello, my name is Melissa Carr, and I am embarking on a journey to learn the function,importance and definition of the family. Since I plan to become a Marriage and family councilor this will be vital information for me to acquire. Each week over the course of the next few months i will  be posting the many insights, facts and trends I learn about in my Family Relations Class at Brigham young University Idaho.
For my first post, I feel inclined to share the increasingly fragile state of the human family. We are  living in a world that has lost sight of the definition of family. people wander around patching familial relationships with bonds no stronger than Band- Aids, and hope that they will bring lasting joy and security. This is a scary time, if we as a society can not come to a consensus on the definition of its the most fundamental unit, then we can expect to face some serious repercussions. i hope that  our study over the next semester will shed some light on this bleak state of the family. i hope that as we learn together we can work to mend the broken ties in society to regain our hope and strength in the family unit.